Deep thoughts from patients

I have to post some highlights of my conversation with one of my patients at work today. He is a 50-year old man with schizophrenia who has been living in a nursing home for at least 5 years...and now he has a head injury from a fall...a great addition to his problems! I love how when we have a psych patient speech therapy is automatically ordered. I'm sorry but I can't fix crazy. It's the same thing in the schools when a kid has a behavior problem they automatically refer to speech. ANYWAY, here are some of the things he told me:

1. His mom is going to bring him some colorful underwear after she is finished with her meeting with vice president Rockefeller.

2. He is the owner of American Airlines and "all of the planes in the world" which of course makes him a trillionaire.

3. He also owns a pharmaceutical company called "Rockefeller Pharmaceuticals" See any trends?

4. He used to be a bodyguard for President Reagan. And since he was a bodyguard he is now being protected by the secret service. And he told me that I could recognize the secret service agents because they all have a "piece."

5. When he was a teenager he was "knifed in the back" and you know who did it? You're never going to guess so I'll tell you... Lee Harvey Oswald. Keep in mind this man was born in 1958. When I tried to point this out to him he changed the subject to...

6. JFK was not assassinated, he had a heart attack and so he didn't want to be president anymore. So now he is actually posing as Ted Kennedy so he can be a part of the government in the senate.

I can't think of any more at this time but I'm sure I'll be in for more tomorrow. I enjoy talking to him because you never know what he's going to say next. Unfortunately I really don't think I can help him but we'll see!

Here are my points of the day:

Slim Fast 4
Lean Cuisine Chicken Alfredo 6
Yogurt- thick and creamy key lime pie- my favorite! 2
Chicken sandwich as my afternoon snack because I was starving to death 4
Another chicken sandwich for dinner 4
Chips and salsa 3
m&m's 2
1 baby real DP 2
Step class -5 (today it was extra hard because we had to do push ups and around the world lunges)

Total: 22!

Unfortunately I didn't get any fruit/veggies again! BUT I did go to the store tonight so maybe tomorrow will be better! I'm off to watch Project Runway!